We are all filled with a longing for the wild. There are few culturally sanctioned antidotes for this yearning. We were taught to feel shame for such a desire. We grew our hair long and used it to hide our feelings. But the shadow of Wild Woman still lurks behind us during our days and in our nights. No matter where we are, the shadow that trots behind us is definitely four-footed. – Clarissa Pinkola Estés
Can you obey your wandering heart, or is fate your master?
You’ve felt the pull of both coming and going, of loving and leaving, of settling down and breaking free. Are you attempting to tame your willfulness, headstrong, and stubborn behavior? Have you tried to reason with yourself? Have you tried to understand the fuss about putting down roots? Don’t. I believe some of us were built for roaming: That we are bound to the unexpected path, determined to find our own way.
What inspired me to “heed the call” to wander was an unwillingness to be tied to any one person or thing. Rather, I listened to the desire to embrace my wandering heart. Now I find myself gracefully balancing solitude, running, staying, being involved, and being removed. Inside of all of us is a she wolf. I never subscribed to the idea that one should hope to have their wandering heart healed. I have been wandering around in a wilderness of my own making. There is nothing more beautiful, fierce, and freeing than forging your own path. I suppose I am just another vagabond lost to loving the unknown and embracing my longing for the wilderness and a much more simplistic lifestyle. Wild, free spirits are like vines wildly wrapping around our insides and pulling us in a hundred different directions, ready to bear fruit. Let them grow. Let them take over. The journey will yield a harvest of wonderful memories. Do not be fearful of what your heart truly wants.
So what part does fate play? It is the moments you live that unravel the thread revealing a particular outcome. The past is a string of moments we have woven from the moment we took our first steps to where we are today. Does this mean that in some way we are always connected to our past? Through our choices or lack of, we untether ourselves from any particular fate. We fray the almighty fate thread ever so slightly, making it harder to fit through its intended hole. Our lives are a tapestry. There are still blank spots on the fabric, so take up your needle and sew with purpose. We are creating our own destiny, rather than living our fate. We’ve gone rogue. We’ve gone wild.
When they enter the room and see my life hanging on the wall, I want them to see what a life led with an open heart looks like. I chose this colorful path. I run my hands over the bruises, the purple thread, and remember the battles. There has not been some invisible red thread pulling me or you through this life, but a beautiful blue one — your wild and free spirit.
But I choose clipping the thread and letting the vines take over.